Self-Love Through Mirror Work: a practice that can change your life
As the season of love surrounds us, our focus naturally tends to shift outward, towards expressions of affection for others. But amidst the flurry of roses and chocolates, it’s crucial not to overlook a fundamental relationship – the one we have with ourselves. Do you ever catch yourself looking for the “problem” first in the mirror? Are you immediately questioning if your hair is having a “good” day or your outfit fits “right”? Is it automatic that the selfie you took needs a “beauty” filter added? How often do you really pay attention to how you do or don’t show up lovingly to yourself? It’s a question worth pondering because so often we shame ourselves without even realizing it and as a result, self-love slips through the cracks.
Let’s explore how to recognize and nurture self-love, even in the face of obstacles like perfectionism and self-doubt.
Recognizing the Lack of Self-Love:
Self-love, or the lack of it, isn’t always easy to pinpoint. It’s a sneaky form of self-sabotage often masked by behaviors like comparing to or seeking validation from others.
Take a moment to reflect:
- Do you truly know your worth? Your immeasurable value?
- Do you uphold it, even when it’s challenged, so your wellbeing is determined ONLY by you?
Whether you do or you don’t, these answers offer an awareness of your current beliefs and the patterns that cement them. This is a crucial step in deepening self-love.
Identifying Obstacles to Self-Love:
Many factors can impede our journey towards self-love. From societal pressures to internalized beliefs, it’s essential to acknowledge what may be holding us back. Perfectionism, for instance, often leads to unrealistic expectations and harsh self-judgment. Similarly, self-doubt can undermine our confidence and sense of self-worth. We come by these honestly, in a world so driven by external measurements – how big is your bank account, your social following, your butt, and so on. The truth, our inherent value, is much less quantifiable. By identifying these imposed limitations, we can begin to dismantle them and pave the way for a more loving relationship with ourselves.
The Power of Mirror Work:
Overcoming obstacles to self-love requires patience and persistence. One powerful tool in this journey is mirror work. Spiritual teacher Louise Hay is renowned for this method which involves spending just a few minutes each day standing in front of the mirror, gazing into your eyes, and speaking words of love and affirmation. With a gentle voice, acknowledge your inherent worth and value by saying, “I love you.” You may notice critical thoughts or beliefs surface as a result – perhaps attacking your appearance or doubting your abilities. In these moments, it’s crucial to challenge these thoughts with loving affirmations. You can counteract self-doubt or inadequacy with statements of self-worth such as…
- “You are worthy of love”
- “You are enough”
- “I am proud of you”
- “You are strong”
Pro tip: Our minds lie to us in ways our body and soul can’t, so invite your soul to speak by asking…”What would LOVE say?”
Truth is, when we were little kids, we didn’t look in the mirror and berate ourselves. It’s only when we absorbed other people’s judgments that we decided something in the mirror was or wasn’t “good enough”. As we grew, what other people thought or felt became increasingly more important. By putting everyone else’s needs and desires first we (knowingly or unknowingly) morphed ourselves to who we thought we “should be” to get and keep their love. But we run into trouble….
When we start to value our relationship with others more than our relationship with ourselves,
When we value what the world thinks over what we know,
That’s when we look in the mirror and no longer see who we truly are…someone unique, exquisite, beyond compare!
So, whether through mirror work or other self-care practices, let’s commit to nurturing a deeper sense of love and acceptance in the most important relationship we have, the one with ourselves!
“Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all” ~ Whitney Houston